Read: James 4:1-3

One fallout of living selfishly is relational distress - the inability to resolve conflicts and differences.

There are all kinds of things people fight about. But James says all quarrels are caused by our obsessions with feeding our self-centred desires. We want something from other people and we would do anything, say anything to get what we want.

Of course, what we want are not necessarily things. Sometimes, we want power. Sometimes, we want our way. Often, we want to be right. And almost always, we want to win.

We may think we are fighting for a better idea, or for the great good. James challenges that. He says we usually fight for our own good even when it is at the expense of the good of others.

The second fallout of living selfishly is unanswered prayers. God does not respond to prayers that do not have the greater good in mind. Indeed, some people then give up on praying and instead rely on fighting to get their way.

Write
Think about your faith story: what kind of fights have you had? Is it your experience that we fight for selfish reasons?

Presently, what are somethings you find yourself fighting with others for? Where in your life you feel frustrations for not getting what you want?

Who are getting in the way of what you want?

Pray
What is God saying to you today?

Talk to God about your experience with quarrels. Talk to God about how it feels to remember the fights, and the people you fought with.

Talk to God about the current fights in your life. Tell God what you are fight for, and the way you may be fighting at the expense of the good of others.

Ask God for the wisdom to make peace in your quarrelsome relationships. Pray for your friends to want peace.

Pray for an experience of God's love, grace and mercy as the Spirit shows you the reason you fight with others, and freeing you to love by making difference choices when you face conflicts of interest in relationships.